


Heads or Scratch

by quercusLupus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, F/F, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quercusLupus/pseuds/quercusLupus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heads or scratch? </p><p>Stay or go?</p><p>This exercise is pointless. You know that she knows luck is irrelevant to you. By having all the luck, you’ve managed to make luck extraneous to your existence. Luck doesn’t even matter any more. Furthermore, she knows that you know she knows this, so what is her game? The little seer thinks she knows what you’re going to do? </p><p>Why don’t we try to shake things up?</p><p>The coin flips, tumbling in the air. The metal glints blue off of the trail you’re leaving in the Medium. Blue like Skaia and blue like the blood in your veins. The coin flips, and lands, it rings musically into the only outcome you hope she didn’t expect.</p><p>Heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Troll Who Lived

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on the headcanon that when Terezi flipped the coin for Vriska's departure, a third timeline split off in which Vriska did not change the result, daring Terezi to "bring her to justice".
> 
> This not only leaves us with a still-living Vriska, it allows time for the characters to work through some relationships together. This is primarily a work of Vriskan flushed shipping, and I will attempt to refrain from including other ships because you never know how that will jive with another person's wants and likes. I will, however, be using John as a bit of a moirail for Vriska, so there's that.
> 
> Hope you like it!

Heads or scratch?

 

Stay or go?

 

This exercise is pointless. You know that she knows luck is irrelevant to you. By having all the luck, you’ve managed to make luck extraneous to your existence. Luck doesn’t even matter any more. Furthermore, she knows that you know she knows this, so what is her game? The little seer thinks she knows what you’re going to do?

 

Why don’t we try to shake things up?

 

The coin flips, tumbling in the air. The metal glints blue off of the trail you’re leaving in the Medium. Blue like Skaia and blue like the blood in your veins. The coin flips, and lands, it rings musically into the only outcome you hope she didn’t expect.

 

Heads.

 

\---------------------

 

Terezi inhaled sharply, taking in the scene before her while she stared at Vriska, “WH4T? HOW? WHY D1DNT YOU CH4NG3 IT?”

 

“T8k me to justice, Redglare, if you think you can!” Vriska challenged, “Where are your 8indings? Where is the court8lock?”

 

The blind girl knelt, reaching for the coin. She ran her thumb over the unblemished side compulsively, disbelieving the result. Slowly, she lifted her head to focus on the thief again, face set in a snarl. “W4AT D1D YOU DO?” she rages, “WH4T D1D YOU DO THIS T1M3??”

 

“I called your 8luff, ‘Scourge Sister’.”  Vriska laughed and turned away from her, “So wh8t 8re your opening st8ments? Wh8t are the ch8rges?” The words taste bitter as they fall from her mouth. They were comrades once. Terezi could, should, still be that sister…or at least a rival, but she blinded herself to the truth and pursued her own twisted image of Vriska in the name of this fake justice.

 

Terezi’s hand closed reflexively on the coin, the skin over her knuckles showing white as she made a fist. Edges of the coin digging into her flesh, she gritted her teeth and glared up at the other girl. “VR1SK4…”

 

Baring her pointed teeth, half grin and half sneer, Vriska turned to face the black void beyond the roof of the meteor.  “It seems you h8ve no me8ns to hold me, Terezi.” The suppressed emotion causing more of her vowels to strain under her odd accent than usual, “I suppose I’ll just be going th8n.”

 

Stepping slowly to the edge of the roof Vriska paused, turning her head to cast one final glance at Terezi. In that moment Terezi become a blur, her cane a white streak at her side. It whistled up and forward, toward Vriska’s back. Too late, Vriska turned to leap away. The carved wooden hook of the dragon’s beak caught the material of her God Hood. Moving into a two-handed grip Terezi hauled back on the cane, slamming Vriska onto the roof.

 

Freeing the cane from the cloth, Terezi leapt on top Vriska and pinned her to the hard metal surface. She deftly brought her weapon around, pressing it into Vriska’s throat. “YOU WONT B3 GO1NG 4NYWH3R3 R1GHT NOW, VR1SK4.”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO NOOKSTAINS THINK YOU’RE DOING? DON’T YOU THINK WE’VE LOST ENOUGH FRIENDS TODAY?” Suddenly, Karkat appears from the roof’s hatch, face flushed red with anger, “I CAME OUT HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU IDIOTS WERE BOTH _SAFE_. WE NEED TO _STICK TOGETHER_ BECAUE THERE’S A _MURDEROUS FUCKING CLOWN_ ON THE LOOSE. AND WHAT DO I FIND UP HERE? YOU TWO DECIDING WE HAVEN’T KILLED ENOUGH TODAY. FUCK! GET THE FUCK UP, GO THE FUCK DOWNSTAIRS, AND STOP TRYING TO FUCKING KILL EACH OTHER, YOU BULGEREEKING CESSLICKERS!”

 

“BUT K4RK4T, SH3 W4S GO1NG TO F1GHT J4CK. 1T WOULD H4V3 L3D H1M R1GHT B4CK H3R3!” Terezi protested, stabbing an accusatory finger down at Vriska, who simply snarled in return.

 

Karkat’s face turned a deeper red, and then white as his jaw ticked in incoherent rage. Visibly steeling himself against the idiocy of cull-worthy wrigglers, he flailed in the direction of the roof hatch. “GO THE FUCK BACK TO THE LAB!”

 

The girls exchanged a long-suffering glance before returning to their scuffle. Terezi kept shoving her cane down onto Vriska’s neck while Vriska thrashed and tried to strike out at Terezi, who seemed to have an unnatural ability to sense them coming and dodge.

 

Absolutely fed up with leading a ragtag band of fuckasses, Karkat stormed over to the two of them and pulled them up by their shirts. Shoving them bodily toward the hatch, he berated them loudly, at length, with much profanity all the way to the lab. The girls, baffled by a Karkat who did more than yell were unable to mount a resistance.

 

 

\------------- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -----------

GC: H3Y COOLK1D

TG: you done doing your alien death lawyer thing then

TG: like you got those loose ends tied down and staked in

TG: shits so tight its like a hurricane passes through and the librarys gone but that tent is fuckin legit

GC: NOT 3X4CTLY

GC: S1GN

TG: what you couldn’t go through with it

TG: what about all the murder comeuppance that was due

TG: and shes gonna lead jack back and shit

GC: LUCK D1DNT M4TT3R

GC: B3C4US3 SH3 D1DNT US3 1T

GC: 4ND ONLY ON3 OF THE MURD3RS W4S H3RS 4NYW4Y

GC: >:[

TG: so are you saying justice didn’t happen

TG: or like it happened but it was flipped turn ways

GC: 1 DONT KNOW D4V3

GC: 1M ST4RT1NG TO WOND3R WHY SH3 S3NT TH4T NOT3

GC: 1T D1DNT 3V3N LOOK L1K3 SH3 3XP3CT3D M3 TO B3 TH3R3

TG: so like was it fucked up murder shit

TG: or was there a note

TG: I don’t understand

GC: S111111GN?????

GC: 1 DONT KNOW D4V3

\------------- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -----------

 

 

 

\------------- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] -----------

EB: hey are you there?

EB: i did what you said…

EB: but i can’t tell if it worked.

EB: hello?

EB: you didn’t fly off to fight jack yet, did you?

EB: i hope not.

EB: vriska?

EB: ????????

EB: oh hey, karkat is talking to me now.

EB: i guess i’ll answer him then.

AG: Hi John.

EB: hey! you’re back!

EB: are you going to fight jack now?

AG: No.

EB: oh, so when do you think you will?

AG: I won’t. Terezi did her stupid court th8ng and then Kark8t c8me and........

AG: 8luh.

EB: yeah, karkat is talking to me too!

EB: i get to go on a long, windy journey!

EB: and then i’ll cause the scratch...

EB: pretty crazy, huh?

EB: and did you really mean that about going on a date?

EB: oops!

EB: a d8?

AG: May8e.

AG: John, I just really want to 8e with someone who doesn’t h8 me.

AG: It’s like having all the luck (all of it!!!!!!!!) can’t c8nge your f8.

AG: Even if you’re the 8est and try to 8e yourself and even motiv8 others to 8e the 8est they can 8e too...

AG: It just........

AG: Falls apart.

EB: gee, vriska, i’m sorry about all that.

EB: i don’t hate you!

EB: i mean you’re an alien and i don’t always understand some stuff and sometimes the cultural differences about cleaning supplies and killing can be weird but i think deep down you’re a good person!

EB: like jack sparrow!

EB: you may be an outcast pirate with no ship or crew but you can fight through impossible odds to save the british navy and lift the curse!

AG: I don’t really understand all of that, John, 8ut I’m happy you think I’m a pir8. That means a lot.

AG: I think I need to go think a8out some th8ngs........

EB: wait! vriska!

\------------- arachnidsGrip[AG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -----------


	2. It Was The Worst Of Times, It Was The Angst Of Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat, Kanaya, and Vriska have to deal with recent events... as well as their own teen angst.

...Honk honk...

Karkat’s candy red blood was pounding in his ears. Why was it a good idea to go wandering around in the meteor alone? Oh, right. Because he was a _fucking dumbass._

...HONK...

Oh Jegus. Did that honk sound closer? It definitely sounded closer.

Karkat spun around, bringing his sickle up in a trembling semblance of a defensive posture, backing into the wall.

Even though the chances of finding anyone else alive like Kanaya were slim, it was his responsibility as the leader to make absolutely sure. Whether anyone else respected his authority or not, being a good leader was extremely important. If he could just prove how serious he was about this, if he could just prove how much he cared... Someday, when this shitty excuse for a ‘game’ was over, maybe his remaining friends would actually respect him.

HOOOOOooooonnnkkkk.....

Karkat spun quickly to his right, as the origin of the honking seemed to quickly shift down a different hallway. At least it seemed to be retreating again. Quickly. Quickly into Equius’ robotics chamber and then down to the ectobiology lab and he could be done with this suicidal mission.

\------------------------------------------------

Kanaya sighed at her computer screen. The Rose human was still in that concerning black area on her timeline, and while Jade’s human sarcasm was much easier to parry, she seemed gratingly inquisitive and cheerful. Frog breeding was incredibly important, no-nonsense business and she didn’t have nearly enough time to do it properly.

Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Kanaya touched her abdomen under the rough dressing she’d placed upon it. Whatever process was responsible for her metamorphosis, it had closed the hole in her organs...but only just barely. The skin was tender like a fresh burn, bruised, and the exertion of killing Eridan had tugged at it enough to reopen the wound slightly on her back.

Slipping her fingers into the scarf, Kanaya lightly brushed the miraculously healed skin. It was burningly warm and incredibly painful. She flinched, involuntarily spasming.

Ouch.

Hissing with pain, she pulled her hand back and wiped it on the very same garment with a resigned shrug. It’s not like it would be possible to salvage anything except perhaps the skirt, anyway. No matter, she’d been meaning to alchemize new fabric. One must always look on the bright side.

Sighing again and leaning on her elbows up on the desk surface, Kanaya watched as Jade danced around the viewport on her screen. The human seemed to be having trouble reaching a frog hiding up on a stone ledge. She bobbed and hopped, flailing uselessly while Terezi’s “COOLK1D” human leaned on his broken weapon and laughed at her. Their easy relationship made her twist inside with an ugly and unbecoming feeling that was far too close to jealousy for comfort.

Human relationships were so much... easier. Less complicated and altogether more positive. It could be her natural affinity for daylight over night and fashion over power games, but she just had a hard time with the black side of troll feelings. Truthfully she had enough difficulties on the red side, but Kanaya couldn’t even stand to see her friends treading into black quadrants and had a habit of auspistizing even perfectly valid caliginous relationships.

Jade human was gesturing wildly at her knight. He laughed a few moments more before pushing up off his sword’s hilt to assist her. He knelt down in the snow, and she laughed, hopping onto his shoulders as he carefully stood up and they retrieved the elusive amphibian together.

The moment should have been touching. One part of Kanaya’s mind certainly registered that it was, but for some reason an even larger part of her rebelled against the sweetness on the screen. Jade was asking her another cheerful questions in the open memo, and Kanaya snarled as she answered irritably. Though she made sure to type politely, Kanaya wanted nothing more than to be done with this vexing “mission” Karkat had sent her on.

Irrationally angry with the strange human, Kanaya struggled to maintain her customary composure.

\----------------------------------------

Vriska was bored. John was certainly trying to be helpful, and he did make her feel a little bit better, but sometimes his bumbling, good-natured goofiness just couldn’t fix the very typically troll problems she had.

_I need to think about some things..._

She stared at the last line of her conversation with the buck-toothed human boy. There were a lot of things to think about, and yet she was having trouble focusing on them. Why did she let Karkat lead her down off the roof? What had Terezi thought was going to happen? When would Kanaya rock her chainsaw skills again? Each thought began to form in her mind but was swept away by the formation of a new one before it was even a cognizant thought.

It was impossible to pick a single train of thought when so many paths were warring in her mind, jabbering for ascendance. She squeezed her eyes shut and balled her fists up into the eye sockets.

Why did things have to get so complicated? It was a liability to have a lot of friends, but lately she had rather less than more. They just shuffled away. Quietly, loudly, alone, in groups... Each shared event shaping their lives in recent sweeps caused more of her friends to trickle away. Things had been rough with Terezi ever since the FLARP incident, but somehow Vriska never believed blind girl would actually come that close to really killing her.

Was it just the nature of their species to seek the deaths of those around them? It sure seemed that way sometimes... but then there was that little shit Karkat. _Everyone_ loved that fucker. He was loud, obnoxious, and perpetually angry but somehow everyone still respected him.

Maybe it was a highblood thing? The bluer hues certainly seemed to hold greater violence in them, and yet Feferi was not only universally liked, she didn’t seem to have a malevolent ounce of chitin in her body! Well... when she was alive.

Theorizing about her unpopularity was well and good, but there were even bigger issues facing her; hotter irons in the fire... For the first time in her life, Vriska found herself at loose ends. Even when they were first forced to take refuge in this hulk of rock she had Jade to put to sleep, other trolls to bother, and a driving need to prove herself. Now... her final strike was aborted. It had all culminated in the need to make amends with her life, and she simply hadn’t planned beyond her victory or death with Jack Noir.

Vriska sighed and banged her fists against her forehead. Why couldn’t Terezi have just stayed out of it?! That was so laaaaaaaame of her to step in!

All Vriska had left to do was wait for something to happen. There weren’t that many friends left to bother, and those that were left all seemed to be doing something... to have some purpose. Karkat was doing his leader thing; Terezi and Kanaya were both helping their respective humans... John just really didn’t need that much more from her. He was every bit the hero she had pushed him to be and was so well liked, he totally eclipsed her own heroics. It was embarrassing and depressing that such a goofy, clueless dork could so easily pass her up. Not that she’d admit it, of course.

And as for her former moirail? Vriska stole a glance to the girl sitting next to her. Kanaya was leaning forward slightly, with a look of concentration on her face. Watching her type, you could see her weighing each word as she typed it in her signature style. Periodically, she would pause and stare at the antics on her screen, cocking her head in confusion or biting her bottom lip.

Her focus here was in such contrast to the chainsaw action that so recently taken place, it was... adorable. Adorable dammit. And yet Kanaya hadn’t said more than two or three frosty words in a row since... well, almost since they started the game. What happened? Her pale Fussyfangs had dropped out of that quadrant more suddenly than the SGRUB meteors had dropped out of the sky.

 _UGH_. This fucking sucked.

Vriska turned back to stare at her computer screen again. She was desperate to talk to John, but was conflicted by her resentment of his success. He somehow seemed to make her feel better despite his alien perspective on things, but she couldn’t afford his calming influence right now. She just really needed to figure shit out.

\---------------------------------------

Karkat could feel his blood-pusher hammering away at his pulse points. Every tiny sound he made seemed to echo for an eternity through the metallic corridors of the meteor. A scraping sound to his right made him flatten against the wall, clutching his sickle to his chest. Sweating like Equius, his breath came in ragged gasps and his body shook from strain.

Periodically, a few honks would echo through the ventilation ducts, bouncing off the corners and never quite dying out. Was it distant or just quiet? Is it ringing in the still air because it came from the room up ahead, or because the ducts kept vibrating like a cymbal? It was impossible to know. The noise was like a parasite in his noise ducts.

With effort, Karkat managed to take a deep gulp of air and scuttled around the corner of the hallway into the final, darkened room ahead of him. He tiptoed in, trying desperately to keep his shoes quiet on the floor. It was dark enough that even his naturally good night-vision was having difficulty picking out shapes from the blackness.

Suddenly, there was warm breath on the back of his neck, ruffling the tiny hairs at the base of his skull. Screaming incoherently, Karkat leapt into the room and spun around, slicing with his sickle at wait level and feeling it catch on... nothing.

A constant, dull drone ground on in the distance. The environmental controls switched on. Karkat had been standing directly in front of a vent without realizing it. Shaking so much he was having a hard time holding on to his weapon, Karkat gave the room a cursory glance and ran out of the room. Throwing caution to the wind, he pelted toward the Lab transportalizer for all he was worth.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Jade was back to breeding frogs again. She still hadn’t managed to isolate all the necessary genes for a genesis frog. At this point, there wasn’t a lot more Kanaya could do for her. She knew what was needed and simply needed the time required to cause the genes to mutate and appear.

Jade frolicked on the screen, still cheerfully working with the Knight of Time. Kanaya snarled, feeling trapped by the situation. Is this really all her time was good for? Waiting around for these humans to create a useless genesis frog for their doomed session?

She had a headache. Kanaya closed her eyes and rubber her fists into the hollows around her eyelids. She probably had bags as bad as Karkat’s now.

Setting her elbows on the table surface, she just kept her hands over her eyes, the darkness and pressure seemed to help with the incessant buzzing in her skull. She glanced through her fingers briefly, enough to verify that Jade human had neither asked another annoying question, nor somehow managed to blow up her frog breeding equipment and then re-covered her eyes.

All she really felt like doing was breaking something and hiding in a dark corner somewhere. Is this what other trolls felt like normally? They certainly seemed to be more violent than her at the best of times, but Kanaya had never felt quite so... homicidal... before.

With a heavy, irritated sigh Kanaya turned back to the screen and waited for something—anything—important to happen.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Vriska stared a hole into her husktop screen. The screen sat enigmatically and did not prove to be any more interesting than it had been since she disconnected from John. When she wasn’t thinking of anything specific her thoughts raced, but when she tried to concentrate on the problems at hand they refused to budge.

Vriska chewed her lip, and focused harder. What to do now? What goals did she have? What were they even doing now? She glanced over at Kanaya to see if she could glean what direction the dregs of their little team even had. As she watched, the jade-blood sighed and settled her cheek onto one hand, elbow on the desk. Geez, even _she_ looked bored and she even had a job to do. This did not bode well.

Vriska ran a hand through her hair absently, trying to contain the scream of impatience that was desperate to escape. This was so booooooooring! Sighing herself, she continued to watch as Kanaya began to drum the fingers of her free hand on the desktop.

The other girl seemed to have a new edge about her, a sort of ferality that had been missing before. Each of the elegant fingers contained a new, restrained strength to them. Her eyes held more mystery, her... Vriska shook her head—this was not productive!

Well, there was one other potential loose thread to tie up that she could at least deal with directly: Terezi.

Closing her eyes for a moment to gather her strength, Vriska pushed up from her chair and turned to face Terezi. Kanaya’s fingers paused for a moment, but continued their drumming. With irritation, Vriska slouched her way across the lab.

Terezi was at her own computer, humming tunelessly to herself and using Nepeta’s tablet to modify images pulled from the human internet. Periodically she would stop and lean in to lick the screen, cackle, and continue drawing. For a girl who just nearly killed her “sister”, she was awfully fucking cheerful.

“Terezi.” Vriska’s voice cracked across the distance between them like a whip.

Slowly, Terezi turned around, wearing her customary shit-eating grin and her eyebrows set for irony. “Y3S VR1SK4? H4V3 YOU COM3 TO CONF3SS?”

Ignoring Terezi’s accusation, Vriska barged ahead with her own questions, “What the hell was that a8out, Pyrope? On the roof? I thought we were 8etter off than that? That we were letting 8ygones be 8ygones?”

Terezi’s mouth twisted down into an irritated line, “VR1SK4, 4 BUNCH OF OUR FR13NDS W3R3 MURD3R3D TODAY. 4R3N’T YOU H4PPY TH4T YOU W3R3 MY PR1M4RY SUSPECT? TH4T 1 ST1LL TH1NK YOU’R3 C4P4BL3 OF SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T? YOU H4V3N’T R34LLY DON3 ANYTH1NG 3LS3 S1NC3 YOU GOT THOS3 BLU3B3RRY W1NGS.”

“Take that 8ack! I’m the 8est there is, _Neophyte_ , and just 8ecause you don’t h8ve the _8rains_ to see all the irons I have in the fire, doesn’t mean they’re n8t there!!!!!!!!” Vriska spluttered with indignation, punctuating each point with large arm gestures.

Shaking her head dismissively, Terezi started to turn back to her screen, “LOOK. 1’V3 H4D 4 LONG, 4ND K1ND OF D1S4PPO1NT1NG, D4Y. YOU GOT 1N THE W4Y OF JUST1C3, VR1SK4. 1 DON’T KNOW WH4T 3LS3 TO TELL YOU.”

\----------------------------------

Karkat was sweating bullets. Officially done with his leaderly duty, all the courage that had buoyed him through the inspection of the meteor drained from his body and left him in stark terror.

Who knew what Gamzee was capable of? He was always so mellow for a highblood... It always seemed like their moirallegiance was backward with Gamzee soothing Karkat. After all they’d been through, the little fucker decided to snap now? When they were so close to fixing things?

Karkat was running too hard to be able to separate the noise he was making from the background and had no idea if he was being followed. All he knew was the closer the got to the transportalizer, the more the place between his shoulder blades itched like he had a target painted on his back.

He could see the transportalizer now, his breath ragged in his ears. Only now did he wonder if the clown had cut him off, and might be hiding in the shadows ahead of him instead... It’s not like he could stop now. While Karkat’s vascular system hammered even harder against his ribcage, his legs pushed him even faster toward what could either be safety, or certain death.

Twenty steps to go; ten steps and he was in the transportalizer room. Five steps, two steps, one and he hit the transportalizer pad in triumph! The bright flash of the technology blinded him momentarily as the world rematerialized around him. Karkat doubled over, gasping for air and shaking as he experienced nervous aftershocks from his flight.

Fortunately, everything seemed normal in here. Sollux was still unconscious in the horn pile where Karkat left him, Kanaya was looking bored but seemed to still be working on the mission he’d assigned her, and Terezi and Vriska were arguing but that was normal enough and at least they weren’t trying to kill each other again. With his breathing under control again, Karkat straightened up and prepared for an announcement.

“LISTEN UP, NOOKSTAINS. I DIDN’T FIND ANYONE ELSE ALIVE OUT THERE, NOT THAT I EXPECTED TO. THAT MEANS WE ARE ALL THAT’S LEFT. WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. THERE IS A HOMICIDAL PSYCHOPATH ON THE LOOSE AND, AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT, I’D RATHER HE DIDN’T KILL ANY MORE OF YOU. SO GET YOUR APPENDAGES OUT OF YOUR AUDITORY TUNNELS AND OFF YOUR SHAME GLOBES AND LISTEN UP: WE HAVE NEW GROUND RULES.

“ONE: NO ONE LEAVES THIS ROOM UNTIL WE DECIDE WHAT TO DO ABOUT GAMZEE, SHITS TOO FUCKING DANGEROUS.

“TWO: NO ONE GETS TO FUCKING LEAVE THIS ROOM.

“ARE WE CLEAR? GOOD. YOU CAN GO BACK TO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WERE DOING BEFORE. JUST DON’T FUCKING LEAVE SO YOU DON’T DIE.” Karkat crossed his arms and stood for a moment to assert his dominance then turned to check on Sollux.

Suddenly, from across the room, Vriska barked, “You and your fucking justice!”, stormed past Karkat, and disappeared in a flash of molecular destabilization.

“THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY??” raged Karkat at the now-empty space beside him. “FINE. IF SHE WANTS TO DIE, SHE CAN FUCKING DIE. BUT NO ELSE IS GOING TO LEAVE THIS ROOM!”

He turned back around to glare at the rest of the shitsuckers just as Kanaya walked up from her computer. Looking unusually wrathful, she shouldered him aside and stepped onto the transportalizer herself. The words, “Karkat, I Am Sorry, But I Refuse To Do This Assignment Any More.” Echoed in the lab for a moment as Karkat’s mouth hung open in disbelief.

Actually, no. This was completely believable. He always knew he was working with deranged wrigglers. He’d just always thought Kanaya was somehow better than the others.

**Author's Note:**

> I left the quirks in the trolls' speech, because the quirks are often referred to as an "accent". Hope it's not distracting!


End file.
